a male parental figure that is present and participating in a child’s life
“the child went to the zoo with her dad”
This noun can ignite some of the best, most treasured memories for some people, and for others it can hang over their shoulders like a dark heavy shadow.
a reproductive term referring to the male biological parent of a child
“after the birth of his child, the boy became a father”
be the father of
“he fathered three children”
The words ‘dad‘ and ‘father‘ are very similar on the surface and yet I think to many people they hold very different meanings. Far too many men have taken their role of fathering a child but leave the ‘dad’ part up to someone else – sometimes it is left to mom and sometimes it is left to another man. But that is a rant for another day…perhaps over coffee and not on social media 🙂 SO! Regardless, I believe both terms hold a high importance and role in life. Written below is why I believe that.
Before I became pregnant, my husband and I had our fair share of conversations relating to babies and parenting, but we would do one of two things: 1. Joke around and talk about it very lightly and passively. 2. End up shutting the conversation down because we had a five year plan and the serious talk was getting a little too serious for us since we were only in year two of our plan… and we had no intentions of breaking that plan – SURPRISE! Plans don’t always go as planned 😉 (This is explained in my previous post – & just as an update, we/ I am more thrilled than ever! Still a little nervous, but it has only continued to be an awesome journey so far).
After our initial shock, our conversations have shifted. They have landed somewhere between excitedly nervous and feeling overwhelmingly blessed. There has been this unspeakable anticipation of parenthood that has overtaken our home, especially in the last month or so. As I have slid into my third and final trimester there have been raw moments of realization that the first reluctant, now anxiously anticipated arrival, is coming…and coming soon. Which leaves me feeling a little wide-eyed as I remember parenthood is coming…and coming soon.
This time it isn’t for the same reasons as I had prior. Again, I wrote about my first initial feelings a while ago in a previous post. This time I am feeling in awe. Feeling in awe of this phrase, dad, and what it is about to mean to my family.
I have been in total awe of this man I call my husband, who my child is going to call daddy. The tears cannot withhold themselves from my cheeks and keyboard as I even try to write and express the love and appreciation I have for him. As I stated before, I believe the role of a father and dad is of huge importance; the weight on a dads shoulders….mind blowing. It is one thing to father a child, I believe it is another to parent and be a dad to a child, and I cannot wait to watch Alex flourish in his role as he teaches, guides and supports our son.
It’s no secret that we both come from amazing families – both with their support and love, along with their faults. Yet despite those faults, I think my favourite component of later pregnancy, ( second being the kicks, because those are AMAZING!) has been watching and hearing Alex talk about his son with this new sense of love that is still not fully grasped or known.
It is true what they say, moms start bonding with their child even while they are still in the womb. I carry baby Decker around with me everywhere – obviously. I get to feel him wiggle and move to the sound of my voice, or push on his little bum when he bulges it out to one side of my belly. Dads don’t fully get to experience this connection. Alex has felt him move and sings to him, but there is no denying it is still different for him. Yet this hasn’t stopped Alex from sliding into dad mode, and I don’t think he is even fully aware he has done it. This has been such a reassuring thing for me!
I have a long history from personal experience, to educational support that gives me statistics and evidence that prove the lack of a father taking their role as a dad has HUGE lasting impacts on children’s lives. Did you know that right now in Canada we are known to be the “Fatherless Generation”? This breaks my heart, and makes me extra grateful for my husband – daddy to be. I am so grateful our son will know a life full of a daddy’s love.
So thank you Alex as you have been protector, provider, leader, and soon to be dad of the year!
Dads – whether it is biological or not – you are a real life Hero!